Monday, October 23, 2017

I Know My Thoughts

I know my thoughts
Follow sensations
And feelings I have

I know my thoughts
Change how I feel
And the senses I seek

I know my thoughts
Are solid real
And yet nothing too

I know my thoughts
Can control me
And upset me too

I know my thoughts
Are not real

And can watch them pass

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Should I

Should I
'get over'
my loss
and
'let go'

Should I
'let in'
light
and
'move forward'

Should I
recognise
love
cherish
what I have

?


Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Sometimes my

Sometimes my
Eyes can't see
Ears can't hear
Nose innocent
Fingers waggle
Tongue fiddles

Sometimes my
Head tells a story
That hurts me
Harms others
Solid as rock
Made up by me

Sometimes my
Friend makes me listen
To a different tale
Full of smiles
Full of love
And a much better true

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

My ritual

My ritual is
To look in my mother’s eyes
To learn from my fathers steps
To wonder at the world
Before words get their grip

My ritual is
To learn from the given books
To find my place in rank
To know science and no God
Before I wander in the world

My ritual is
To worship my wife
To look in my children’s eyes
To work for it all
Before it passes so quick

My ritual is
To cherish my life
To fight with the devil
To defend it all
Before the end

My ritual is
To enjoy my peace
To be back where I began
To be and not be
Before eternity rests


Sunday, October 8, 2017

Respect my choice

Respect my choice
I want Catalonia
I want Spain
I want Brexit
I want Europe

Respect my choice
I want to die
I want to live
I want to serve
I want to honour

Respect my choice
This is my life
Not yours
I decide
You respect

Friday, October 6, 2017

Can you keep a secret?

Can you keep a secret?
I hope not
They hurt
They damage
They deceive

Can you keep a secret?
Maybe
To lessen the hurt
You shouldn't
But I do understand

Can you keep a secret?
You know
She does not
She wouldn't understand
Do you?


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

When I Die

When I die I won't be remembered for long
Like Jerry, Dave and Andy
Family will grieve for a little while
Friends and acquaintances will say
'Oh Jerry passed away last week'
Someone else will say
'Good innings'
And another
'Great for an evening out'
Then as the clock ticks
Memory fades
Fewer people remember

When I die I will go happy that I lived
Today, tomorrow, whenever it comes
From nowhere I came
I was here
To nowhere I go
What is important is
I was present
For you reading this
For people around me
I am here now
And for myself
As long as I can

When I die I will remember this
I sense I feel I think
A story evolves
I seek to confirm it is true
Questions arise
Answers evade
Just out of grasp
Awareness grows
I am a fiction
I did create
I had no choice
With the pen I had


Relationships

Our relationships shape us
Those that work well
Are the gold dust of our lives
They sustain us
Care for our vulnerability
Protect us
Shine light on the best we are
And bring a smile to our face

Our relationships shape us
Those that are broken
Feed the fire of fury
Waste energy
Harm us
Chain us to an idea we have
End life unresolved
And tie our gut in a knot

Our relationships shape us
Those that are in between
Are ours to repair
The hurt is in us
In our power to change
Forgive if we can
No strings attached
And bring a smile to our face

Thursday, September 21, 2017

MILK



The water is ice cold on my face.  The street outside is silent.  A rhythmic snore from the terraced house next door is hardly dampened by the paper thin walls between us.  I am awake.  I rub my arms with my hands to work my circulation in to action.  I pull my vest over my head and put my shirt on as I head down the stairs.  Boots on I open the front door quietly and shut it softly behind me.
A dense fog clings to me on my way to the dairy but does nothing to stop the smile inside me.  At the stables Nelly waits.  She is always pleased to see me.  I stroke her main and put my face against her muzzle.  She gives a contented little snort.  I harness her up, rub her up and down her flanks for the feeling it gives me in my fingers and to let her know it is me that is there.  The bottles of milk clink as the crates are loaded on to the cart and we are ready to go.
I love this time of the morning.  There is a moment when it is hard to get out of the snuggle warmth of my bed but once the water splashes on my face I am ready to go.  Nelly is my companion and we head off to deliver milk to Nottingham before anyone is awake.  I can't think of anything I would rather do than this job.  I left school at 14 to get work and Dad would not let me go down the mines or do factory work.  I couldn't believe my luck when this job came up.
We head off to Mapperley where the posh folk live in their big houses up the hill.  In the early days Nelly tested me out and refused some of the hills until I discovered a carrot slightly in front of her nose got her moving.  My mates want me to do mischief to these people who have all the things we do not.  But I like my customers and find most of them to be lovely human beings.  I give them a smile and a hearty good morning if they are up and about.  Very few are.  They always give me a happy nod back and always tip me well to help Christmas go well.
More often I meet the nannies and  the staff who are preparing everything before the house wakes up.  There are a variety of foreigners working in these houses who come from far off places I know nothing about.  She doesn't speak much English yet but there is a real beauty of a nanny who comes from Austria.
At the weekend we argue round Sunday lunch.  Dad takes a position against the government or the owners of the mines or the weakness of the unions.  Norman, Cyril and me take an opposite position to Dad or each other and we can have a thoroughly good argument.  Nobody wins except it is accepted Dad is right and after a rousing shout we settle down to let the roast settle.  Dad sleeps in his favourite chair and I go in search of my mates in the street.  We are friends and good energy has been spent in the battle.
Dad's life is tough.   The mines have blackened his skin and attached a deep rasping cough to his lungs.  Mum makes little go far for food, clothes and warmth.  Most of all mum and dad make us feel safe, secure and loved.  Against the weight of injustice Dad sees in the system we are part of, we are happy together, and determined to make the best we can out of the deal we have been given in life.  The fight for life feels hard but somehow optimism stays with me.



Vera is her name.  You vant me pay you bill she says.  A lovely smile that sparks something inside me.  She tells me her sister wants to know how to get to the swimming pool saying her sister Elsa wants to go.  I offer to take them at the weekend.  A flame rises within me.  I slap Nelly on the rump, walk taller and can't wait for the weekend to come.
There was a fight at the pit yesterday.  Dad was in a foul mood, frustrated by what happened to his friend and the inability to do anything to help.  We will all whip round to help him out until he gets another job but we know he won't.